Channel 4 are a joke. Endemol are a joke. Coral Bookmakers are a joke. Imogen and Suzie are a joke. The British public are a joke. That is all.

From out of nowhere, the show has seemingly been saved. Firstly, the heinous Jayne was evicted (and about time) last Friday. Quite how she was let in there is a mystery, but how the housemates didn't brutally turn on her is beyond me. I found her utterly repulsive on all levels - between screwing up every task, ensuring EVERY other housemate was nominated (and Nikki was evicted five weeks early), trying to create her own angle with Aisleyne for no reason and burping like there's no tomorrow. Literally, now she's gone. I can't say I'll miss her, and I can't say the house has been lacking in entertainment now she's gone.

Step forward Pete, Glyn and Spiral. The only three remotely entertaining housemates left, after the premature downfalls of Shabaz (yes, that was really THIS series) and Nikki. I can honestly say that no-one else has delivered this year, except Sezer and Grace, who did so in accidental and detestable ways. For weeks now, Pete and Glyn have been the only two potential winners, and luckily the voting public (as well as the bookies) have seen sense. It now seems destined that the final night will come down to a battle between those two. Similar to Anthony vs. Eugene last year, they're the only two nice people left, but both provide the entertainment that Anthony severely lacked. Spiral is also humorous to watch, due to his unreciprocated lust for Aisleyne, cringeworthy comedy raps and general promo ability.

The big change, however, has been the booking. For nine weeks the housemates wandered around the same old house, and were fed the same old mediocre tasks (let's be honest, this year's were perhaps the worst ever). In one single episode, the show has been turned on its head by the prison task. The secret house has been transformed into a jail, the inmates have a special luxury room unbeknownst to the others, and at the end of it all is a clever double eviction. The double act of Pete and Glyn were hilarious throughout the episode, whether it was peeling onions, dancing in front of the mirrors or serving each other drinks in the garden. Spiral's facial expressions are comedy gold as well. The whole week has been a success already - the 'best friends' task provided fresh and interesting new episodes, Michael and Spiral were uncovered as Deal Or No Deal fans (rightly so) and Glyn gets to cut Diary Room promos about the whole thing. Now all we need is Imogen and Suzie to go on Friday, and the boredom will have eroded away. We can look forward to a final three weeks that might, just might, drag BB7 into the territory occupied by classics like Series' 5, 1 and possibly 3. On the other hand, if Pete or Spiral goes, consider yourself screwed.


Raps: Spiral

Tip for eviction this week - Imogen and Suzie. The voting is to save housemates this time, possibly a ploy to save Pete from anti-Richard fans. I don't really care, as long as Imogen goes. After confessing, "I'm not really an entertainer", it should have been curtains for her. Heck, Suzie does more of interest i.e. her angle with Spiral the other night. Just don't vote to save them, and everything will be alright.

Show's over.

Nikki's departure leaves the house castrated of entertainment, it's as simple as that. The producers have dug their own grave, YET AGAIN, by messing with the formula to a ludicrous degree. Was the 11-person nomination fair punishment for Jayne's inability to shut her gob? No. So why do it? The end result is that the No.1 entertainer in the house, the centre of the main angles and one of only three genuine characters (her, Pete and Glyn) left, has been bundled out the front door five weeks early. Not that she didn't milk the occasion, of course - one paper wittily wrote that she looked ready to burst into a rendition of, "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" as she stood there. The rapturous reception made it feel like the final night, and her exit leaves the house devoid of any real showmanship. Pete is always getting stalked by someone - at the moment, Aisleyne seems to fit the bill - and Glyn only comes to life on certain days. His porridge-induced frustration was comedy gold last night, and if the fickle voting public get fed up of Pete 'because his Tourettes is annoying', then Glyn will be the only remaining candidate for victory.

But Jayne is simply revolting. A walking, burping tutorial on how to repulse your fellow housemates and four million viewers. Seriously, why is she in there? Do you think people sit at home at 8:55 every night saying, "Oh! Change the channel! Jayne's coming on!"? The woman is rude, vile, arrogant and malicious. There is the small possibility of a Jayne vs. Aisleyne feud based on Nikki's departure, but I'm not sure I'd even want to see that. The wannabe ghetto girl has managed to fall with just about every housemate, then claim, "I don't know why you're intimidated by me, I've got nothing against you." She has been the common denominator in most of the arguments recently, and although Jayne, Lea and Nikki are spiteful and self-obsessed, Aisleyne does herself no favours by seeking trouble with them. She also does herself no favours by hanging on to Pete - don't you realise that gimmick has been done to death? Know yourself, as you would say.

Spiral, meanwhile, has completely lost the plot. Reacting the way he did to the walking task was heinous, and showed a complete lack of respect for the other housemates. Jennie and co were simply trying to comfort Glyn after his disgusting "prize" of liquified chips and peas, and "Spoiral" suddenly laid into them like they were the Devil's sidekicks. Or Marco Materazzi. A word in your shell-like, mate - you'll be out of that house quicker than Shabaz's integrity if you get nominated this week. So think on.

And after all of that, there are still people who have a problem with Pete winning. Why? Almost everyone else, as listed above, is a repugnant human being, and the show is beginning to plumb BB6-type depths with its concoction of depraved, mentally insecure freaks. At least in Series 5 they were entertaining. I know there's an argument for Glyn winning, but he wouldn't stand much chance of securing fame and fortune outside the house, even as winner. The guy has made it patently obvious he just wants to go back to his village in North Wales and "marry a nice Welsh girl". So give the title to Pete, the ONLY other housemate this year who deserves it. And watch the joyous scenes as he leaves the house, surrounded by fireworks, as just about the only one with any self-respect left. Just don't let him on Saturday morning TV without a bleep machine. Although I must admit, his swearing during the class exam this week was quite funny. Unlike Jayne's burping. if anyone finds that humorous they should be sanctioned in the same institute as Nikki inevitably will be.

Tip for Eviction this week: Spoiral. Can you believe there are still FIVE weeks left of this?